Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize