Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm jealous of your bromance
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
