I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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