dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize