I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
