You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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