so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
