I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
