she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
