what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He called his prostate his "boner button".
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
