Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
