think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
