nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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