can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
