He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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