I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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