I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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