he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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