She's JV to your varsity
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
