HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
