I cockslap morals
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
