He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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