yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
