as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
