Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
