i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i think im in europe. pls send help
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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