My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
