do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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