So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
