OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dignity is for republicans.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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