she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize