Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
