I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
