drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
