Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
ttyl tear gas
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
