Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
