I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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