At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
