I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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