considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
