I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
