dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
