rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
