Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
love makes seman taste better
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
