I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
