oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
