FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
