i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
At least make sure they are 18
Why
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
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