i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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