your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
