Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
