This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
