I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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