I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
