She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We named our party play list daddy issues
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
operation have a gay friend backfired
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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