How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
