STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
